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Hamlet, B4v

Editorial note

Our cacodemon adaptation of B4V of Hamlet took a modernizing approach to create a piece that maintains Shakespeare’s message and some of the original language while engaging today’s younger Shakespeare scholars through contemporary slang. Our goal was to preserve the essence of Hamlet and Horatio’s interaction (themes of betrayal, anguish, friendship, and self-questioning) while making the text more accessible and resonant for middle and high school students. Designed as a tool to strengthen teaching and understanding for young Shakespeare scholars, our adaptation meets students where they are by incorporating modern slang with easily digestible footnotes. As there is a high likelihood that this may be their first introduction to Hamlet, we aimed to balance modern language with the integrity of the original text, making it more approachable for first-time readers. We also paid close attention to the dynamic between Horatio and Hamlet, recognizing the quick pacing and natural flow of their conversation. Our edits emphasize their friendly, almost brotherly, relationship by incorporating language that mirrors how students speak with their friends to make the text more relatable and engaging.

Edited by Eve Mazlish and Molly Lane

Brainrot Bros Hamlet and Horatio

Horatio: A predisposition to ditch 1 my duties, my good dude.
Hamlet: Nor shall you make me believe
your own shady vibe.
Sir, I know you are no slacker 2.
But, straight up,  why are you really in Elsinor?
Horatio: My good dude, I came to see your father's funeral.
Hamlet: Oh, I prithee don't roast me, fellow goon, 3
I think it was to see my mother's wedding.
Horatio: Indeed, my dude, it was a double whammy 4 for sure.
Hamlet: Stingy, Stingy, Horatio, the funeral roast 5
Did furnish forth the sloppy seconds6 at the marriage tables.
Would I had met my WOAT op 7 in heaven
Ere ever we link 8, Horatio.
O my father, my father! Methinks I see that guy.
Horatio: Gagged! 9 Where, my dude?
Hamlet: Foo 10, in my mind's eye, Horatio.
Horatio: I saw him once, he was serving Julius Ceasar king type beat 11.
Hamlet: He was a legend, for all his BS,
I shall not look upon the GOAT 12 again. Et tu Brute? 13
Horatio: My dude, I think I peeped 14  him yesternight,
Hamlet: Peeped, who?
Horatio: The man, the myth, the GOAT: your father.
Hamlet: GAGGED! The King my father? Are you fr 15?
Horatio: Cease your glazing 16 
With an attentive ear, listen, stg 17 I saw him,
Just ask the boys,
They'll prove I'm not capping. 18
Hamlet: For God's love, speak on that.
Horatio: Two nights together had these goons 19,
Marce and Barno, on their Call of Duty, 20
In the dead, vast, graveyard shift time 21.
Been thus spooked by a Father Figure 22,
Staying strapped 23, exactly cap-à-pie,
Spawned 24 before them thrice, he walks
Before their tweaking, beta eyes 25
With his glock 26 in tow,

Image credit: British Library (Halliwell-Phillips edition). The tragicall historie of Hamlet Prince of Denmarke. First Quarto. London: 1603.

Citing this page: Shakespeare, William. Hamlet, B4v. London: 1603. Cacodemon Digital Shakespeare. Edited by: [your names]. Source Edition: British Library (Halliwell-Phillips Edition). http://cacodemonshakespeare.com/tragedies/hamlet/b4v.

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Notes

  1. as in ditching school or class
  2. referencing truancy
  3. alluding to both as scholars
  4. referencing how the funeral and wedding happened in quick succession
  5. meaning a meat roast, a verbal roast, and in reference to the disrespect of the proximity between the funeral and marriage (wedding is roasting the funeral)
  6. the leftovers from food at King Hamlet's funeral, alluding to Claudius's incestuous relationship with Gertrude
  7. an enemy: the Worst Of All Time
  8. Hamlet alludes to how he would rather face his worst enemy and die than see his mother marry Claudius so quickly
  9. exclaiming in surprise
  10. fool
  11. referencing King Hamlet as a strong and noble ruler, also referencing Shakespeare's play by the same name
  12. Greatest Of All Time
  13. referencing the betrayal of Ceaser from a loyal brother-like figure, paralleling King Hamlet and Claudius's dynamic
  14. saw
  15. for real
  16. excessive admiration or disbelief
  17. swear to god
  18. prove Horatio is telling the truth
  19. referencing Marcellus and Barnardo as having a similar friendly dynamic to Hamlet and Horatio
  20. on their patrol as well as referencing a popular video game surrounding marksmanship and survival instincts
  21. midnight
  22. referencing a popular internet meme surrounding George Michael's song Father Figure
  23. staying vigilant and armed with a weapon
  24. appeared, as in a video game, like Call of Duty
  25. showing their shock and fear in their eyes
  26. meaning a gun or weapon
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